Currently Listening The Truth By Beanie Sigel Anything - Jay-Z see related

I know mama, your little baby
But these streets raised me crazy
Product of my environment, nothing can save me
Thanks for letting me bloom for your wisdom for your womb
For the roof over my head, for my shoes, for my bed
For the most important lesson in life was when you said
"Strive for what you believe in, set goals and you can achieve them"
Thanks for the days you kept me breathing when my asthma was bad
And my chest was weezin', thanks for the look of love
Just as I was leavin'
On nights you thought that I wouldn't come back
That left you grieving'
Thanks for holdin' down the household when times was bad
As the man, I apologize for my dad
When the rent was due, you would hustle like a pimp would do
That wasn’t the life meant for you
You’re a queen, you deserve the cream
Everything that gleamed, everything that shines
Everything that’s mine

There are certain people in life that we could never repay for the impact that they have left on us.  While I have been influenced by many and have had a chance to meet so many wonderful people in my lifetime ther are only 2 that I can think of who I will never be able to repay:1 my father and 2 my mother.

My father comes first because really if it were not for him I would not be where I am today.  He left me that influnced me.  There are things from that hurt of leaving that I am trying to change but the fact remains is that because of that I grew up harder than most.  I have taken my knocks but those knocks have molded me.

My ma...........Well the impact that my ma has left on me is too great.  Above this blog is a verse from Jay-Z called anything.  This verse symbolizes everything that my mother did for me.  Throughout my life she always been there for me.  She has been there when I wasnt popular or it was popular to think wrong of me.  She was there when I have been in some major crisis like when I was 12 and about to go to real jail or when I am about to fail out of college.  There where times when I know that I personally aged her but she has always been there to love and support me.  Its like whenever I fall she is the first to pick me up, dust my knees and shoulders off and tell me to get back and ride life for all its worth.  She ahs been my motivation for so long.  I mean I just heard this song on the radio and it just made me think about my love for my ma.  Something about mothers like I dont even have to talk to her just being around her and i  know that I am going to be okay. Even in this hard shell of a man that I am get emotional about what I consider to be my family.

I wrote about this because I was curious to know about how others feel about their mothers so log back please

Currently Listening WOW Gospel 2005 By Various Artists Because Of Who You Are - Vicki Yohe see related

Anybody who knows me knows that I love music.  But not many people know what my favorite music is.  Most wuold say rap becuase I am always quoting JAY-Z, the best rapper alive, but hands down it would have to be gospel music. 

Hear me in this: I LOVE TO WORSHIP. I LIVE TO WORSHIP. I reached an epiphany about myself last night while riding in my mothers car listening to Because of who you are(more affectionately known at are chuuch as Jehovah Jira song). I realized another way that I differ from other christians that I know.  Some people fight spiritually through prayer, fasting or diving into the Word, which these methods are all very good and necessary but I found out that I fight by singing praise and worship songs.  I mean when I praise and worship I forget about my current state of being and focus on being enamored with GOD. 

When I worsip God I am constantly reminded of David(alot of things that have happened in my life have made me make this comparison to him).  He was a man after God's own heart who praised him so hard that his clothes came off(talk about stripping for JEsus, lol dont get religious on me).  He basically made a fool of himself while praising and it seemed distatseful to people who were looking on.  I got similar stares(fully clothed though) while I was driving and singing this song at the same time.  I kind of got the same stares when I used to dance in the middle aisle of the church, which kind of discouraged me.  But last night God encouraged me to praise him with a passion.  I have learned that when I passionately sing praises to him the sounds come from the belly of my soul and all of a sudden I gt enveloped in his prescence.  There have been times(like last night) where I have come to tears becasue I was so overwhelmed.  I put my masculinity aside, my issues, my storms, my sin all to the side and just give him the praise and adoration that he deserves.  It like when I praise I become free.  April Lupo told me a few months back that God is well pleased with me when I worship him.

I mean this might not be good for any of yall but it is freeing to me.  Anybody who knows Jay-Cee knows that it is not like me to preach.  But the praise and worship of God just gives me a better attitude.  I become friendlier, more servant like and just more pleasant to be around.  I noticed my attitude yesterday and the day before when I made it an issue to get my jam on with God and when I did not when I posted last.  Now I am not worried or even a little depressed. Because I know that he is my provider, that He reigns in victory and he is my prince of peace.  I mean the song is just great.  I got other ones but this one definately get repeated like 50-11 times when I listen to it. 

I gotta testify
I come up in the spot lookin extra fly
'Fore the day I die, I'ma touch the sky
Gotta testify
I come up in the spot lookin extra fly
'Fore the day I die, I'ma touch the sky

Currently Listening Lily in the Valley By The VIP Music & Arts Seminar Music Choir Featuring John P. Kee Lily In The Valley see related

Somebody's pulling me closer to the ground
I ain't panicked, I been here before
Seems like only yesterday where on the top of that stage
In front of that crowd
And we showed them who was who, and what was what
Man look at these suckers
I ain't no ball player, I'm a hustler
It just so happens that I know how to play ball

Sometimes in life we face bumps, hurdles or valleys. Its the ones who know how to respond to the circumstances that face them in life that we think are great. No matter how depressing it may seem while you are going thru your tribulation in the grand scheme of things I guess it really aint that serious.  Right now I  am at a really low point in my life, but I need to be focused so that I can make some really tough decsions ahead of me.  Sometimes I worry and worry so much about what's life gonna be like tommorrow to try and take me away from the pain of today. I dont realize that by me going thru this pain today it will make life easier tommorrow and I will be able to hlep somebody else.  At times like this I revert back to my memory of scriptures where Jesus is talking about why worry.  He said he clothes the lillies of the field and feeds the animals with tthem not having to do any work.  Thats the only things that is really keeping me going right now is that i know he has a plan for me

 

Be easy and have a blessed day

Currently Listening The Black Album By Jay-Z Change Clothes see related

So many friends of mine/ think they no my lifelines/and the tears that come outta my eyes/they no imma good guy/to they suprise/some dismayed/all of the things that i havent displayed/my dislikes or gripes/a new found lease on life/the knowledge I have to turn the wrong cats to right/the insight/discernment/the things I learn/quick or slow/these are the things/u should know/like how I came from da gutta/slowly rose to change/through the cracks of the concrete/bloomed the rose James/recognize the pain scars/on my face till dis date/the J-A-Y see i made it florida State/for yall lookin for an excuse/for me to fade to black/ya got ya eyes wide shut/betta take a step back/and gaze @ beauty/in one of its purest form/take heed as I spit my life/through verses and metaphors

What dey Do? This is ya man JayHova36 da breaks ova.  In my lifetime (especially the past couple of weeks) i've been misunderstood.  Its a problem that many people have but it always seems to follow me into every aspect of life.  In school I get bored, so I dont do my work or go to class, and I get pegged a dummy.  In sports I do a lot of things easier than my other teammates and it comes off as I am not working hard enough.  Even in life, I don't do things the way that everybody thinks I should do them and I get pegged as hardheaded and one who does not take advice.  You see world one of the biggest problems that I have is when people speak on a situation based upon misinformation and then state their misinformation as fact.  This can confuse others and cause them to spread that misinformation to others and then you have a delima.  This delima is what you would call gossip.  Sometimes when you are dealing with a situation that you do not know much about, and you are to scared to ask those involved, just dont speak on it.  Its kind of like the thing that used to come up on the movie theatre screen before a movie starts "Silence is Golden."  Anotha thing so i can get off of my soapbox is that everybodies business is not your business.  Just because we were cool or have mutual friends does not give you the right or the authority to try and speak on things.  This aint to come off as arrogant
(but if you read my title I could careless about what you think of me) but if you do not have an established relationship that both me and you think is valid, save ya comments homie.  You leave yourself in a bad situation and their could be a misunderstanding, which could probably leave us in a situation where I would have to hurt ya feelings.

But anywayz off the soapbox.  It has been so much emotions these past couple of weeks.  My last year in college and football is coming to an end (neither is going as well as I thought they would be).  When you are at the end of the tunnel you start to reflect and remenisce.  Its like lately at practice I have been getting in touch with Jay-Cee from his Freshman and Sophmore year (if only I could get to that weight).  That Jay-Cee was just one of those "Happy 2 Be Here" guys.  So in my last couple of weeks my practice level has really shot up.  I have also been going to class consistantly (it ahs only been a week but hey youy gotta start somewhere).  I have also been thinkin about the regular college memories that I have had.  Like how I was loose as a freshman, dating my high school sweetheart and the heartache of breaking up, first getting saved, mission trips, hangin out with the guys, my first roommate, the first day I skipped class, the first wreck I ever had, the first time my car broke down and when I first found out I was addicted to shopping.  These last four years have been everything that most people tell you when you go to college. They really have been the best days of my life so far (im making sure that i add that in).  The only thing I probably wish that I would have done is joined a fraternity but hey I am in one of the largest frats on FSU campus already.  Well im outta here now so I left yall wit my verse first so imma close it out with the best rapper alive

Your dude is back, the Maybach Coupe is back
Tell the whole world the truth is back
You ain't gotta argue about who can rap
Cause the proof is back, just go through my raps
New York, New York!  Yeah, where my troopers at?
Where my hustlers, where my boosters at?
I don't care what you do for stacks
I know the world glued your back to the wall
You gotta brawl, do that
I been through that, been shot at, shoot back
Gotta keep a peace/piece like a Buddhist
I ain't a +New Jack+, nobody gon' Wesley Snipe me
It's less than likely, move back
Let I breathe, Jedi Knight
The more space I get the better I write, ohh
Whenever I write, but, if, ever I write
I need the space to say whatever I like, now I just

You know I stay, fresh to death, a boy from the projects
And I'ma take you to the top of the globe, so let's go

Currently Listening The Blueprint By Jay-Z Heart Of The City (Ain't No Love) see related

Well What it is pimps and pimpettes.  Its me the J-A-Y C double e.  Well imma try and not focus on football so much by the request of some of my xanga family.  first and foremost I have finally came out of my slump by scoring a touchdown against Maryland.  It felt good and now I just have to focus on not letting it happen again. 

Anywayz, man me being the person who I am (hustlin is still inside of me) I have started slangin lacoste shirts (the alligator shirts for those of you who so not know).  But this has been going pretty well.  Makin money is like a game to me.  Just knowing that I can do it makes it fun, I don't have to have it but its the thrill of trying to make money is what excites and turns me on.  I think I am really going to have to go into business one day.  Days like today make me really wish that hustlin was one of the fruits of the spirit. 

but I think that this is just a gift that God has given me.  Which brings up the next topic of discussion.  I wuz having breakfast with a great man of God last Thursday and something that we talked about was how God gives us gifts freely for us to use to advance his kingdom and whether we do it or not is completely up to us.  The best example would be that of Larry Brown.  He has an apostolic calling.  This guy cannot stay in the same place for more than 5 years.  He takes a team that is struggling really bad and builds them up to either win a championship or be a contender and then he just up and leaves.   He doesn't believe in creating a dynasty.  Imagine him in the church, he would help us fulfill the every nation in our generation quick. 

Well that's about as insightful as I can get for today so be easy and have a nice day

First the Fat Boys break up, now every day I wake up
Somebody got a problem with Cee

Whassup catsall fed up cause I got a little cheddar
and my play is movin me up fa sho

Young punks spittin at me, young players gettin at me
That nigga Big predicted the stuff exactly
"Mo' Money, Mo' Problems" - gotta move carefully
Cause people hate see when your a gettin money  athlete
Yung'uns ice-grillin me, ohh - you not feelin me?
Fine; it cost you nothin - pay me no mind
Look, I'm on my grind cousin, ain't got time for frontin
Sensitive thugs, y'all all need hugs
Damn lil mans I'm just tryin do me
If I score 2 touchdowns you gonna try and score3
I don't want much,  I drove every car
Some nice cooked food, some nice clean drawers
Bird-like cowards I don't mean to ruffle y'all
I know you waitin in the wing but I'm doin my thing
Where's the love?

Check out some pics of mine